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March 2009 
Living in truth
Posted on Feb 19th, 2009
by 
muji
muji
Yesterday morning the Sun moved into Pisces and I became very suddenly angry. I was angry at the world for the condition it's in. I was especially angry at everyone who makes it so which is basically all but the VERY few. I was angry at the lack of couracge to stand up for what was right, for the universal truth. I was angry at everyone who has ever tried to tell me that truth is personal, that I was being judgemental when suggesting that we all had the same truth, but had personal DISTORTIONS of that truth.
I was angry at myself.for not living truthfully and was projecting that anger outward. I live outside Chicago. Picking up a newspaper lately has been a constant reminder of the lack of truth in our lives and especially a reminder of my own life of compromise. Blago comes from the same part of the world as my parents. So did one of his mentors, Fast Eddie Vrdolyak, who was my late uncle's lawyer and who my uncle called "the biggest crook I've ever met." And, now Roland Burris. And, Tod Stroger works blocks from where I live and serves less as Cook County Comissioner than as yet another reminder of untruth.
I use astrology. I realized more than a year ago that we were all about to face 16 years of having to face the truth about ourselves as Pluto began it's journey through Capricorn. If you want to understand Capricorn energy, just think about Martin Luther King jr, a man who stood up for his convictions and whose convictions were quite close to universal truth. We're all being asked to fess up to our own inner MLK's. We're being challenged to oust the hacks who we keep giving our power to, like Blago, AND to oust our own inner Blago!
Yes, we have a collective inner Blago. I certainly do. I compromise my own truth every day. I tell clients what they want to hear instead of what they need to hear and address. I couch what I say to stay within the parameters of their fear...and I am thus ruled by their fear.
And, we all do it to different degrees and in infinitely individual ways. For one thing, we try to be "nice", or politically correct. We're much too afraid to look at our own negativity, let alone engage other peoples' negativity. And, in this way we fail each other very miserably. We are each other's enabler. And, it eats away at us silently because we have to contract and control our energy. We are much too afraid to be in truth because we have to go through our own distortions of it before we actually can be there.
I'm a bodyworker. I'm a very financially unsuccessful bodyworker. But, I could easily change that if I gave people what they want which is basically escape or denial. My profession is rife with charletainism. We take money to keep people stuck by giving them the illusion of making progress. But, they don't really progress until they create a crisis for themselves. The crisis finally stirs their energy enough for them to want to face the fear that they're quite content to live with until the crisis. But, 99.9% of us resist change, the DEEP and thorough change we really need...including myself. Pluto is going through my 8th house, it's own house, as it moves through Capricorn. That's why I'm critically aware of the need to stop posing. It's extremely scary. It feels like life and death. I can see how it all connects to the end of the Mayan calendar and all of the earth changes (Pluto in Capricorn) that are on the horizon. I can see all of the structures within ourselves, our society and reflected in the earth itself shifting and doing so intensely and to the core. What isn't based on universal truth will collapse and what IS aligned with truth will be empowered, strengthened.
Well, Pluto represents change to the CORE, nuclear change. The planet was discovered concurrently with the discovery of nuclear energy and with the rise of Fascism. Pluto brings the darkness to light so that it can be addressed and enlightened. It is like the hero's journey through hell, through fear. And, last year Pluto just ended it's 12 year journey through expansive, religious Sagittarius. We had the dark aspects of expansion and religion brought to the surface. We went through a phase of greed and over-indulgence, through unbounded expansion. EVERYTHING expanded, faith (religion) in securities, the size and financial value of houses, the size of vehicles, of gas prices, of baseball players and their home run totals, of children (their girth) and self-righteous religious dogma.
And, now that Pluto has moved into responsible Capricorn we're only BEGINNING to pay for all of our excesses. It's part of the very deep purification process we HAVE to go through whenever there are dark aspects to anything. But, we only have to because we refuse to proactively transform that darkness. We need the crises and that's why we create them. Crises are our way of dealing with our fear induced paralysis.
Pluto going through Capricorn represents the thorough purification of authority. The spate of scandals like with Blago, with religious abuses of authority (priests abusing children or religious leaders sending people off to die) and with any other personal or social abuses of power will be rising to the surface so that we can take our power back. This is a HUGE consciousness shift. And, it's just beginning.
And, it all has to start with ourselves. We have to face our own fears and our abdication of personal authority. We will be spending the next 16 years getting intimately acquainted with our fear, with our dishonesty which starts with being dishonest with ourselves. We'll see how we compromise ourselves through fear and how that leads us into anger at those who we hand our energy to because of that personal abdication. Compromise is an interesting word, isn't it? Being in a "compromising situation" is considered not good, but "compromising" is a goal?! If we're in truth, there is no compromise, just alignment with that universal truth. We'll all be our own MLK.
I was angry at myself.for not living truthfully and was projecting that anger outward. I live outside Chicago. Picking up a newspaper lately has been a constant reminder of the lack of truth in our lives and especially a reminder of my own life of compromise. Blago comes from the same part of the world as my parents. So did one of his mentors, Fast Eddie Vrdolyak, who was my late uncle's lawyer and who my uncle called "the biggest crook I've ever met." And, now Roland Burris. And, Tod Stroger works blocks from where I live and serves less as Cook County Comissioner than as yet another reminder of untruth.
I use astrology. I realized more than a year ago that we were all about to face 16 years of having to face the truth about ourselves as Pluto began it's journey through Capricorn. If you want to understand Capricorn energy, just think about Martin Luther King jr, a man who stood up for his convictions and whose convictions were quite close to universal truth. We're all being asked to fess up to our own inner MLK's. We're being challenged to oust the hacks who we keep giving our power to, like Blago, AND to oust our own inner Blago!
Yes, we have a collective inner Blago. I certainly do. I compromise my own truth every day. I tell clients what they want to hear instead of what they need to hear and address. I couch what I say to stay within the parameters of their fear...and I am thus ruled by their fear.
And, we all do it to different degrees and in infinitely individual ways. For one thing, we try to be "nice", or politically correct. We're much too afraid to look at our own negativity, let alone engage other peoples' negativity. And, in this way we fail each other very miserably. We are each other's enabler. And, it eats away at us silently because we have to contract and control our energy. We are much too afraid to be in truth because we have to go through our own distortions of it before we actually can be there.
I'm a bodyworker. I'm a very financially unsuccessful bodyworker. But, I could easily change that if I gave people what they want which is basically escape or denial. My profession is rife with charletainism. We take money to keep people stuck by giving them the illusion of making progress. But, they don't really progress until they create a crisis for themselves. The crisis finally stirs their energy enough for them to want to face the fear that they're quite content to live with until the crisis. But, 99.9% of us resist change, the DEEP and thorough change we really need...including myself. Pluto is going through my 8th house, it's own house, as it moves through Capricorn. That's why I'm critically aware of the need to stop posing. It's extremely scary. It feels like life and death. I can see how it all connects to the end of the Mayan calendar and all of the earth changes (Pluto in Capricorn) that are on the horizon. I can see all of the structures within ourselves, our society and reflected in the earth itself shifting and doing so intensely and to the core. What isn't based on universal truth will collapse and what IS aligned with truth will be empowered, strengthened.
Well, Pluto represents change to the CORE, nuclear change. The planet was discovered concurrently with the discovery of nuclear energy and with the rise of Fascism. Pluto brings the darkness to light so that it can be addressed and enlightened. It is like the hero's journey through hell, through fear. And, last year Pluto just ended it's 12 year journey through expansive, religious Sagittarius. We had the dark aspects of expansion and religion brought to the surface. We went through a phase of greed and over-indulgence, through unbounded expansion. EVERYTHING expanded, faith (religion) in securities, the size and financial value of houses, the size of vehicles, of gas prices, of baseball players and their home run totals, of children (their girth) and self-righteous religious dogma.
And, now that Pluto has moved into responsible Capricorn we're only BEGINNING to pay for all of our excesses. It's part of the very deep purification process we HAVE to go through whenever there are dark aspects to anything. But, we only have to because we refuse to proactively transform that darkness. We need the crises and that's why we create them. Crises are our way of dealing with our fear induced paralysis.
Pluto going through Capricorn represents the thorough purification of authority. The spate of scandals like with Blago, with religious abuses of authority (priests abusing children or religious leaders sending people off to die) and with any other personal or social abuses of power will be rising to the surface so that we can take our power back. This is a HUGE consciousness shift. And, it's just beginning.
And, it all has to start with ourselves. We have to face our own fears and our abdication of personal authority. We will be spending the next 16 years getting intimately acquainted with our fear, with our dishonesty which starts with being dishonest with ourselves. We'll see how we compromise ourselves through fear and how that leads us into anger at those who we hand our energy to because of that personal abdication. Compromise is an interesting word, isn't it? Being in a "compromising situation" is considered not good, but "compromising" is a goal?! If we're in truth, there is no compromise, just alignment with that universal truth. We'll all be our own MLK.
Access: Public
You have just become my inspiration for the day. Thank you.
Now this, is a fantastic piece of writing. First of all, I know nothing about astrology aside from the fact that I am a goat… sweet, stubborn, hard-headed, driven Capricorn. And I fit that description to a T. However, what you explain here is in much more detail and makes complete sense. Your knowledge is fascinating and I very much appreciate the time you have taken to share it.
I love how you just let it out; I respect you even more for not being one of the “fake” people. I gave up trying to tell people what they “wanted” to hear and started telling them what I either thought they SHOULD hear… or I said nothing at all. There are many people in my life that I associate with that have ignorance and arrogance as there two “top” qualities in personality and frankly, I was done feeding it.
Thank you for showing us in this brilliant piece that we need to re-think and re-focus; to cleanse and to not compromise; just to be truth and honesty.
Very well written.
aaah, so you write the same things I feel…
but a slight reminder, we really do live our truths, even tho sometimes they conflict, which is only part of our truth(conflict in order to learn our lessons)… but how can we ever at our age really live anyone else’s truth… which is possibly one reason for society and our own lives crumbling…
but I know that feeling of bumping into the walls of too many people or subjects! as above, so below… some people never see The truth… sad…
but by saying something ‘nice’ or what you think they want to hear, sometimes they actually only hear what they want to anyway… and acting from a place of kindness intent is not a bad thing. words are very poerful tools in our work… and the law of attraction, giving someone a positive thought is a lot healthier than tearing down their belief systems… they will have plenty of time to do that themselves, because they are really the only ones who can make that decision to see the light, or truth, and sooner or later, one does face those questions, but you cannot see them before you open your eyes…
I am sure that just your presence will help facilitate that healing… and isn’t that what healers do anyway, just hold space for the healing to occure? so your being is exactly what is needed!!!
I do not have the intent of a lecture here, only a few reminders to follow our inner voice… with smiles.
and perhaps by looking at dear uranus and saturn, and that saturn return thing… we really are being called upon to find that balance that is so necessary to survive…
I think it is about this search we travel for the truth that determines the paths we take… and there are so many variables and turns in the road… and some days I just dont feel like living in focus, haha… so allow myself the fog for a bit, to gather my inner strength and then forge ahead… waiting for that moment that the transition has come… aha, am alive again! I can see!!!
too funny to read the blago blob … I sometimes get chi paper links, but chi politics have always been a riot, one way or another… wink wink. the history of its corruntion goes very deep, the big winded politicians, how do you think it got its name of windy city? hehe… it is not really that windy… altho I do know what it feels like to be there at minus degrees with wind chill…
enough babbling for now… good to see you!
Thank you for this glimpse inside my new friend Meho. I resonate with so much that you’ve written, and can clearly see several valuable, juicy challenges that we share. The biggest and best, I think, is that of REALizing (not in our logical minds, but down deep where our core beliefs reside) that the universe craves (nay, requires!) exactly what we honestly have to give… everything we have to joyfully share with the world, exactly as it is. FURTHERMORE, that self-same Universe stands ready to rain abundance upon us until we are soaking-freaking-sopped with it, doing the backstroke in a pool of it, playfully spitting fountains of it up into the air, spreading it everywhere we go just to see people smile, as easily as we spread our loving heart energy on Gaia. So much about what we THINK we know about how our lives and challenges are going to be tomorrow, next week, next month can change on a dime JUST AS SOON AS WE FIGURE OUT that this is the way it’s really supposed to be, we deserve it, we’re finished with previously inflicted guilt, and we’re ready for the experience, in the present!
Let’s Rock & Roll…
HA! My post inspired Siona and now what goes around comes around! You, MamaSue, have inspired ME! You and I are a couple of Knute Rocknes…certainly me since Knute and I share birthdays! I want to go out and win one for the Gipper…but wait…I should do it for myself! :)
You GO, Boy-eeee!! (We GO, Us!)
Ka-noot II
Ok, I’m a day late and more than a dollar short finally reading this
really amazing blog Meho. Yes, it’s well written. But the impact is that I feel your passion and your REALness in each paragraph. I
related in so many ways as someone of like mind, but also as a
bodyworker whose intention is far more than milking muscles or
“relaxing” the masses.
I get your frustration and anger. It is overwhelming sometimes to see
the effects of our collective bad behavior and feel the depth of our
personal/group despair. And damn… it is a time of reckoning, isn’t
it? But within all of that is the excitement of NOW being a time of
change. For good or for bad, change is coming and I believe we have
the opportunity to influence that change - and that makes me feel
ecstatic about living right now. We have chosen to live in time of
major shifts.
You remind me a lot of my husband. You seem like a man of many
talents, brilliant on many levels, gets bored easily, moves around in
your “career” a lot, very deep and sensitive to your surroundings. Am
I even close?
The piece around being Truthful with each other touches a personal part of me - something I’m working on right now in my day to day. I have found myself struggling with the same issue - wanting to share a hard truth with a client and backing off, or making is soft for the ears. Recently, I have been watching myself like a hawk - so as not to throw myself (my feelings, thoughts, etc) under the bus while placating my client. I want to be able to share what I’m really feeling, sensing and thinking. As I do this… and as I use crystals and hold places for 5 -10 minutes without moving my hands, take my hands off clients and use subtle energy - or even chant OUT LOUD (!) - I’m realizing my clients not only can handle it, they are releasing in ways I never could have imagined. I’m sure other therapist, including yourself, do things far more “out there” than I have. But for me, this has been a major step in trusting myself and my intuitive wantings. I have faith in myself and in the world. I believe that the work we do is very necessary for now and we are meant to share what we feel. There is a way to do this without shattering people - and you are so well spoken, I know you can communicate without alienating people. Sometimes, it’s just one sentence and that vibrates with people for weeks. A drop in the personal bucket of deep change. Sometimes we don’t get to see what happens to folks after they leave our office. And most importantly, I remember that I do this work because I need to know this work… there are lessons for me every day. All we can do is ask the universe for the opportunity to serve at it’s divine will. I appreciate you … thank you for voicing something very personal that so many of us resonate with! Love, Tina
Ah, Tina! So many ways we seem to be connected! Yes, yes and yes…to specific and general things you said.
There are two “truths”. There is REAL truth, the unity that connects us all. And, there are our individual “truths” which are the distortions of the other truth. Maybe I should differentiate them by capitalizing the unitive Truth as opposed to the dualistic truth.
TRUTH is the ultimate goal. But, truth is the bridge. It’s infinitely preferable to the mask. Yes, anger is ugly, jagged distorted energy. But, if we FEEL angry, imposing a mask onto it is EXTREMELY unhealthy. Being honest about our anger is the only way to understand it, to discover and feel the fear that’s underlying that anger. THEN we can apply our self-compassion to it!
So, we can be in truth without being in TRUTH. And, it’s MUCH healthier than being masked.
We recently had a Virgo full moon. Virgo is critical. It represents both positive and negative criticism and it’s purpose is self-perfection which should be a PROCESS not an authoritarian dictate from within! When there is a Virgo full moon, the Sun is in Pisces which represents the opposite of Virgo, compassion and understanding on a feeling level. Acceptance of the imperfection as part of the dualistic condition is Pisces compassion. Combine those two signs and you get a healthy integration of the desire to self-perfect lovingly.
This is what I was struggling with when I wrote this. I realized at the full moon how demanding I was about perfection, my own and the universe’s. That’s coming from a very insecure child within me! My child’s observations are true, but the way I FELT that truth was through fear which led to the demands. I see that now.
I also know that we can unwind ANYTHING that’s stuck. Stuckness is simply a structure. Tesla showed how ANY structure, including our entire planet, has a harmonic resonance, a frequency of vibration at which structure can no longer exist and it disintegrates. There’s a famous video of a bridge in Tacoma that undulated itself into oblivion. But, that oscillation began VERY minutely and amplified into something staggering in intensity. While writing about this phenomenon, I realized that the subtle energy work is like the beginning of the oscillation. The more frozen the structure, the more slowly the oscillation has to begin. But, most of us therapists stop at the subtle. I know how to carry it to the end. But, I resist initiating it subtly! BOTH is again the answer. Surprise!
And, over the past few days, I’ve come to my personal realization of yet another deeper level of our connectedness…all of us and everything. It’s at a point today that I can hardly contain “seeing” it all, sensing it all, the matrix. I’m kind of giddy…like Scrooge on Christmas Day!
I thanked everyone over at Facebook who impacted me in any way, large or small because I can see how it has ALL led to this moment, like an epiphany. Now, I want to thank anyone who hasn’t already read my FB thank you!
Love,
Meho
I sure am late here, but this read was a most important one for me. Makes sense with my angst over the expansion I have gone through in my body weight, and the manifestation of diabetes I am currently dealing with on a personal level.
There were many gems here, much too much to comment on this evening..but suffice to say….it was an excellent blog, and I hope you continue to teach and inspire us with your knowledge here…you have a talent for getting to the gist of it and giving us all the truth, and that my friend is a valuable gift.
Best,
Aley