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eros
March 2009 
What is "Love"?
Posted on Jan 18th, 2009
by 
muji
muji
I've heard that there are over 20 different words for "snow" in Eskimo language. We have one word, "love", which seems to represent drastically different things in English.
Now, I know Mercury is retrograde, it's right on top of my Chiron and Chiron is right on top of my Mercury! And, Neptune isn't far away from my Merc. But, the Sun is right on my Venus and Venus is on my Sun. So, although challenged to communicate right now, I'm also encouraged to do so. Here goes!
The best way I can define "love" is as a pure state of BEING. In this state we juat are. We're fearless. We take everything in and radiate everything out, no walls.
Actually, absolute pure love can't really be experienced. We would not exist. But, in duality, we can experience infinite degrees of love. And, we can get quite lost in it's distortions.
What do we mean when we say "I love you"? We certainly do NOT mean pure love the way I just defined it. We REALLY mean affection, desire, lust...but not real love.
When we say "I love trees" or, "I love cooking", we once again mean something else.
We might be saying that trees and cooking give us pleasure, make us feel some particular way, but we don't really "love" them.
When we say "let's make 'love'" we mean we want to have sex.
What a mess! And, the worst part of this mess is that it confuses us and obfuscates how we can respond to pain in our lives.
Being "in love" with a special someone is the state of eros. It is excitement. Our energy is stirred by eros into an effort to go beyond our fears. We're stirred TOWARD that eventual state of love. Eros is a bridge to love, not love itself. An easy test comes when the person we say we "love" leaves us. If we are thrown into pain, despair, anger or any other emotion, it ain't love and never was! Now, we can FEEL some pain, but it should move through us almost instantly, if we truly loved that person. This is where the old saying "If you love someone set them free. If they come back, it was meant to be." comes from. Love just IS. No attachment is involved.
My point is that if we pay attention to distinctions, if we don't use words too loosely, we can avoid delusion and we can avoid the pain that results from delusion. We can turn the "hit" of a break-up into the "gift" of self-purification. We can see our attachments and our fears of lonliness or survival. We can see the REAL issue that permeated the relationship and the one we're driven by, usually unconsciously.
Now, I know Mercury is retrograde, it's right on top of my Chiron and Chiron is right on top of my Mercury! And, Neptune isn't far away from my Merc. But, the Sun is right on my Venus and Venus is on my Sun. So, although challenged to communicate right now, I'm also encouraged to do so. Here goes!
The best way I can define "love" is as a pure state of BEING. In this state we juat are. We're fearless. We take everything in and radiate everything out, no walls.
Actually, absolute pure love can't really be experienced. We would not exist. But, in duality, we can experience infinite degrees of love. And, we can get quite lost in it's distortions.
What do we mean when we say "I love you"? We certainly do NOT mean pure love the way I just defined it. We REALLY mean affection, desire, lust...but not real love.
When we say "I love trees" or, "I love cooking", we once again mean something else.
We might be saying that trees and cooking give us pleasure, make us feel some particular way, but we don't really "love" them.
When we say "let's make 'love'" we mean we want to have sex.
What a mess! And, the worst part of this mess is that it confuses us and obfuscates how we can respond to pain in our lives.
Being "in love" with a special someone is the state of eros. It is excitement. Our energy is stirred by eros into an effort to go beyond our fears. We're stirred TOWARD that eventual state of love. Eros is a bridge to love, not love itself. An easy test comes when the person we say we "love" leaves us. If we are thrown into pain, despair, anger or any other emotion, it ain't love and never was! Now, we can FEEL some pain, but it should move through us almost instantly, if we truly loved that person. This is where the old saying "If you love someone set them free. If they come back, it was meant to be." comes from. Love just IS. No attachment is involved.
My point is that if we pay attention to distinctions, if we don't use words too loosely, we can avoid delusion and we can avoid the pain that results from delusion. We can turn the "hit" of a break-up into the "gift" of self-purification. We can see our attachments and our fears of lonliness or survival. We can see the REAL issue that permeated the relationship and the one we're driven by, usually unconsciously.
Access: Public
yes, I think I know. As much as I love snow, I still won’t eat yellow snow.
Only ‘cause you’re yellow! ;)
yes, mellow yellow.
You’re mad…about fronteen…whatever that was…
it’s interesting to get different ideas about love, but nothing beats actually being in love. The euphoria. Not to be missed. But then…….. reality?
Interesting read, here .. for me, I am not sure I quite agree… as when I love, letting go is hard because my love tends to be unconditional … always lingering even after the storm. If you are gone and I am “fine” … I never really cared to begin with.
I seem to feel just the opposite as what is stated here … maybe it is on an individual basis?
Very thought provoking .. thank you for sharing !
Actually, Rachel, your reply is a perfect example of my point. People confuse true love with eros, the force that stirs up our energy. It’s almost like we WANT to get so excited, bent out of shape and uncentered. In fact, we certainly DO want that.
Why? Because there is a part of us that knows we’re hiding behind all sorts of masks and armoring. It’s a part of us that wants to go beyond all that, to be freed. And, what is there in our culture that “allows” us to break free? Sex, drugs and rock & roll! I’m only partially kidding. Sex allows us, if we allow ourselves and few of us really do, to get out of our heads, to LET GO! The same is true for drugs. They drop the armoring, allow the energy to flow, we feel a “buzz”…but, at a cost. And, music has the ability to arouse us into a state we wouldn’t want to go to without it. It acts as a sort of “excuse” to let go.
Love is NOT a state of excitement. Love is not a gossamer fantasy, an out-of-body dream-like experience. Love is REAL. It’s a very real open state that is experienced physically, feelingfully and mentally all simultaneously. EVERY part of us is alive! But, we are CENTERED in this state. We can NEVER be head over heels in true love. This is exactly my point. We confuse what we have been brought up to define as “love” with the REAL THING!
No, Rachel, this is NOT a personal thing. It’s not at all a matter of people having different experiences of “love”. It is just the opposite! Love is LOVE. True love is universal, it’s the universal state of being. What is personal is why I started this blog in the first place. The DISTORTIONS of true love are what is infinitely personal. Just like religious experiences are highly individual, but true spirituality is universal. In every religious interpretation there is some element of the universal truth. But, it’s the religious differences that cause problems between people. And, that happens when people confuse religion with true spirituality, the universal state of being where there is no fear and consequently no hate, nor evil. In that state we don’t feel split, we feel whole. We are IN love. In a state of love.
In eros we are aroused to allow more energy to flow within and through us. We are motivated to open up. This is a bridge to the completely open state of love. But, if we don’t see that state as the important part of the experience of eros, if we don’t use the eros as a bridge, we get “addicted” to the eros, to the stirred-up feeling of eros. And, since eros is a temporary force, when it passes, we split up and search for another person to “fall in love with”! It’s an attachment no different than an addiction to sex, drugs or anything else we use to excite ourselves.
Wow! That was a mouthful ; ) !
What you say makes sense … I suppose I am not as enlightened as I would like to be, but that is why I come here; to learn; from teachers just like yourself for spiritual and inner growth.
I will have to re-read this a few more times to truly understand .. but I appreciate you taking the time to re-explain what you have written.
Blessings, my friend!
None of us is enlightened…fully. It’s all a matter of degree. And, don’t forget my name…No Wisdom!
What I’m trying to describe is the state we’ll ALL experience in those moments when we get glimpses of enlightenment and what I see is commonly in our way. It’s that simple. Prolonging those moments takes practice at letting go. I personally have a LONG way to go. Understanding it intellectually is FAR from being there!
Meho-
This is a brilliant piece. ok, I’m done telling you how much I enjoy what you have to say! ;) But I agree with everything you just wrote. And I think it’s one of the hardest things for us to embody while we are in the midst eros. Emotions are our powerhouse. It’s where we gain strength to motivate and create - sex is great fun to create! And yet those darn emotions - well, they control us! To be above the power of our emotion selves is a unique ability and I think we have to have a clear sense of who we are and what we are capable of before we can ride love train without the attachment hook (we sooo want to define ourselves through others - it’s so much easier!). PEACE MEHO!!
Tina, it’s absolutely no co-incidence that you were my first friend here at Gaia. We seem to have a resonant understanding. And, as easily as I can be misunderstood, it’s a treasure!
I did discover that emotions and feelings are not the same thing and that we CAN learn the difference between feeling and being emotional. Not easy when we start!
Thank you , Muji, for taking up the challenge to communicate today :-D
bowing deeply …